$%&^%$#*YTFRJGCJDFCHMGVCJ VTCEUTYIRRZSHDJFkGjhuvbljhYUVKGUHNSB VETYGUHTNOB8S74EYT OV8SW3YNV HIESIT4VYSO4UY832Q0N7Y3gfhiugeushitvmnbse thjsenrvu jhtesn94v78743w9nt56yvuirhjfnb877yt4vbetqBT79N47VYT738Y4T5N97c b7vt39v754yt 37vysenrb7tyewn3573wn4cb57nw34b9v7n9seyt w3u5yjbouen8y5upebn uy-e4589-w4ep6n90eb6eu6un3w-56-q647q 1u2-jbmwtfkl,5fvm 497nvtw4vbw45tbw
46wq346tq3b6
ybw4yws5yvt7ws4tnbws48nvws4truesvrtnbs84tybw4ab
RFDGHTYRFDXGHTREFDSXVBFGTRSDYJTRG0wubg9m5n 0b9mgu5rtypnmbs95sivmo,jugdytn osbupo0omsnuy6q3nibwvrhmsnftr bjkxlf hlgnkxAERRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IHATE THIS BLOGGER.COM SO MUCH DO NOT BLAME ME FOR THE TERRIBLE BLOG FORMAT OR TINY PICTURES

Oh Bloggy I have so much to tell you, but… I have not the stamina to bring you up to speed in one sitting, so I will tell you segments, that will be appropriately named “Thailand… What is it good For?” so…

Thailand What is it Good For?

I think that I will talk about food this segment, as it has been the source of most of my joys and woes, but it’s such a broad subject I wouldn’t know where to begin. I know! I will begin with a picture…

Mmm, wow does that look like a tasty beverage. One morning I apparently slept in (to 730) and I awoke to the sound of crazed maid banging on my door, I scrambled on pants and opened it so see her holding this. As you could imagine I felt pretty good, I do love the occasional orange julius two hours before I want to wake up, I really do. It tasted like I would imagine s**t to taste like. Assuming the animal was on a primarily sidewalk chalk and flour diet of course. And if you’re thinking “hey, s**t isn’t cold” you’re right. When she handed me the glass I got a second degree burn on the palm of my hand, pretty sure it burnt a ring into my tv stand too. Its good if you like warmed cream of wheat straight from the box, or if you like to pray for your morning breath back.

Thai food is really full of surprises all around, and not just the “oh this IS meat” surprises but “what in the love of god” surprises that keep sending us back to those street vendors who second as animal control experts. I was surprised at how similar Pad Thai here was to the Pad Thai I made in the microwave back home. Just a few extra steps…

American Style:

1. Follow microwave directions

2. Eat

Thai Style:

1. Follow microwave directions

2. Dunk it in a fish tank

3. Marinate it in a cow barn

4. Eat with albino bean sprouts and cabbage

I know Right?! How cool is that, I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. But then again I’m not, because I’m starting to associate the feeling of hunger with the taste of egg. “pom gin jai” has two meanings here, one being “I’m a vegetarian” and the other “I don’t eat meat so just put like 4 fried eggs in there, yeah, and a stick of butter.” I literally eat almost 5 or 6 eggs a day, sometimes more. In my dream last night someone called me Egg Boy I think, if it’s reoccurring I’ll let you know. Vegetarians get many reactions here, I get questions ranging from “do you eat beef” to “do you eat coconut” to “do you eat bananas” on a daily basis. It really is a meat lovers paradise here, with huge, fresh, beef-pepper-mushroom-onion shish kabobs ranging from 30 to 50 cents apiece. I admit that I have been tempted, but not thrown over the edge yet.

But spinach egg soup isn’t helping. Actually the literal translation for the Thai words “spinach egg” is “gag reflex” not the less accurate but more common translation “ I’m going to puke my guts out”. But speaking of puking my guts out, let’s talk about spring rolls. I’ve always hated these things, but somehow I always find myself being forced to eat them. I was sitting in “The Mall” in korat with PeeNee, eating my sea weed and rice, when I realized that I had to try a spring roll again, the one I swore to my Viking ancestors would be my last would apparently not be my last. For those of you fortunate enough not to know what a spring roll is, its lettuce in a clear slimy rice based rap. It’s just lettuce, I thought, I’ll just put plenty of dressing, it’s like a salad! (which I hate) . After dousing my roll in the mystery sauce PeeNee had gotten I got my favorite Thai Reaction “NO! NO! NOT TOO MUCH!” Too late, it was already in my mouth. First off I literally almost puked over the whole table as soon as it touched my tongue, the taste and even worse texture are so bad I literally almost instapucked. Then the heat set in. I can’t tell you the feeling of having something in your mouth that you need out of your mouth RIGHT NOW, its something you have to experience yourself. My face must have been priceless, contorted from disgust, heat, and eventually panic as I realized the napkins in Thailand are as thin and small as a single ply toilet paper sheet, when what I needed to spit filled my entire mouth. Luckily I realized that after each of my gags I could force some food down my throat on the contraction, and I got it down after about three minutes of little polite smiles and very quick little lords prayers.

But don’t let me only talk about the bad things, everything I eat here is very healthy except for maybe the iced coffees, everything else is fresh from the market and full of everything my body craves. Even the orange s**t drink was healthy, it’s just a whole different lifestyle. Ever since my not so great Pad Thai I have had delicious Pad Thai, several servings of it at a time and I actually hope to have more tonight. Every day I seem to try a new type of fresh fruit or nut, the diversity of produce here would blow any vegetarians mind, just don’t expect people to cook it for you. Overall I would give the food here a 7, and once I am through the experimental stage and on to the eat everything I love everyday phase, I don’t doubt that this place will be a 10.

When I was in 6^th grade I started to attend school in Cloquet. It was a big deal for me, 6^th grade, new school, new friends, and no recess. I was becoming a young adult. One day during the summer before my first Cloquet school year my dad talked to me about this, or more specifically, how I should be addressed. What should people call me now that I was an almost adult? Johnny? Hells no said my dad, my new name should be John Eric, like he had intended all along, and it would be a quintessential part of my journey into maturity. And I believed him.

I don’t know what it was, maybe the way I said it, maybe kids are just stupid and mean sometimes, but despite what caused it to happen, it happened. It happened hard and fast. John Eric was a laughing stock, and not just for the first week mind you, but until THE DAY I GRADUATED. Everyday every kid in every class called me “John Eric Moen” or “John Moen” every year until graduation. Even the ones that weren’t in my class called me by my full name, My girlfriends roommate still calls me that and didn’t really get to know her until 11^th or 12^th. “John Moen” “Hey John Moen” “John Moen!” is all I’ve ever known. Sometimes a kid would try to repeat the story of the event saying “Huh huh hey John remember the time you got super mad at us when we didn’t call you “John Moen”?” or “Hey remember that time when you punched that kid in face because he didn’t call you “John Eric Moen”?” I never was called what I had wanted to be called all along. My actual name, John.

Thailand is very nice and very hot. I haven’t had much of a chance to see anything yet but the hotel is very fancy, the only thing I haven’t really enjoyed is the food. Yesterday for lunch I found one hot dish of mixed vegetables, just to open it and find meatballs in with them, the Thai love their meat and it leaves me and three other AFSers resorting to the salad bar. The orientations are going well but they can be hard sometimes, the language teachers are very fun but often times sporadic and often just straight up crazy, usually speaking 95 percent of the time in Thai. For some reason I have stood out to them, and during most lessons I am made an example of. Sometimes they call me out for doing a hand dance incorrectly or pronouncing something wrong when I am just as good as the other students. I even got singled out for not being able to count to 60 when they hadn’t even taught us how to count to ten! They only yelled at me! Everyone usually laughs and points, but they call me John J

Today as a reward they wrote all of our names in Thai, mine was first (as usual) and after getting past “John” they got stuck on “Moen.”

“How do you say your name?”

“John Moen”

“John Moen?”

“John Moen”

“John Moen?”

“Yes that sounds fi…”

“John Moen?!”

“Yes”

“John Moen?!?”

“John Moen”

“John Moen!???”

Needless to say people were laughing pretty hard, and they laughed about it for a long time. I couldn’t possibly describe the feeling I got after the US embassy people came and left, and we were left sitting there as a projector was set up. As casual chatter filled the room, I heard someone behind me try to get my attention.

“Hey John Moen?”

I could never describe it. If I blow metaphorical cerebral matter into the deepest cackles of my soul just thinking about it how could I describe it to you. Sigh. Will it stick? Will this be name to the other members of AFS Thailand forever? I guess time will tell, but if it followed me this far, I don’t see why it would stop now.

Are We There Yet?

Sigh, and to think my journey has only begun. Can't write much, for some reason sitting for hours on end exhausts you, but I wanted to say "I made it to L.A." before I say "I made it to Thailand", so everybody feels in the loop. The Hacienda's nice and the pasta primavera I had for dinner was good, although L.A. is surprisingly cold. *Yawn* If i continue like this my blog will end up a string of incoherent babbles. Tomorrow I will write more, with more to write about. well blgg bvgelv bglgb rgblbl bgrlbln... nighgt